Grr...

One thing that sucks about TTC: right after you get a negative pregnancy test, you find out that yet another friend is pregnant....ho hum. And so it continues. Just for laughs, I made the following list of 50 reasons to enjoy not being pregnant. Enjoy!

1. No needles. No crazy people chasing after you begging for just 5 or 6 vials of blood to check your beta levels, progesterone, blood sugar, etc.

2. No ultrasound probes, speculums, fingers, Q-tips, or other torturous instruments going up your whoosewhatsit where you'd prefer your significant other be the only one that ventured.

3. Unpasteurized, yummy, delicious, fresh cheeses (brie, bleu, feta! need I say more?).

4. It's summer. With no baby on board, whitewater rafting is still considered an acceptable activity! Time to go get wet. :)

5. CAFFEINE. You can have that IV of energy back, delivered one hot or cold cup at a time.

6. You have permission to overdose on that wonderful substance known as chocolate. Eat it until you get sick on it. Gorge yourself in the delicious yummy-ness of dark chocolate, and if you really want to go crazy with it, have a chocolate espresso gelato! Yum!

7. There's one more month to save for that little bundle of joy, meaning you might just be able to afford that really cute 3 in 1 stroller with all the trimmings...

8. No doctor's appointments. 'Nuff said.

9. A one-week break from Prometrium. :) Enjoy it while it lasts.

10. What a great excuse to buy a test that smiles at you...next month brings with it more peeing on a stick, only this time the stick comes with a smiley face. Go Ovulation Predictor Kits!

11. Sushi, sushi, sushi, yum, yum, yum!

12. Freedom to travel without worrying about having the OB/GYN's number on hand, or thinking about old wives' tales that criticize you for even thinking about flying during pregnancy.

13. That occasional glass of red wine on romantic evenings is no longer taboo.

14. If it hurts, you can take your Advil, Tylenol, or Aspirin again. Now if only you'd known last week during that horrendous migraine....

15. Junk food. It's the season for county fairs, and now you don't have to worry about every little crumb that you eat. Relax, enjoy that all-beef hot dog. No one else is eating it with you.

16. Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough.

17. French Vanilla ice cream.

18. Go to the sauna/banya. Overheating isn't an issue anymore.

19. Did I mention hot tubs and jacuzzis?

20. If you like rare meat, indulge yourself. the time is now.

21. Exercise as much as you like...ok, maybe that's not exactly fun, but hey, it is a plus.

22. Trampolines!!! Yay for the bouncy-bouncy!

23. Ok, not for me, I'm not certified, but for those of you who are - feel free to scuba dive. One of these days I'll learn....

24. High-altitude hiking. You still have the chance to experience those incredible vistas of Alpine lakes, and hidden Rocky Mountain paradises. Heck, you could even climb K-2!

25. Cloppity-clop-clop...time for a horseback ride.

26. Surfing anyone? The closest I'll get is on desert sand, but for those of you who are into it...surf's up!

27. Fresh-squeezed juices from the farmer's market. Enjoy them while the season lasts. :)

28. While there's lots of chatter about what herbs are safe during pregnancy, no one will grduge you a red raspberry tea when you aren't prego.

29. You don't have to memorize the location of every bathroom between destinations to helo out with those emergency 'I need to pee, NOW!' situations...

30. Ok, so while cravings can provide an excuse to eat those crazy combinations you secretly like, not having them also saves you from the strange looks you get when making that delicious-to-pregnant-women-only peanut butter, pickle, and peach sandwich.

31. You can drive past the local sewage plant without throwing up from the odor.

32. Got a bad break out? Feel free to apply salycilic acid liberally. It's staying on your face.

33. Made a cake? You get the pan-lickings! Congrats for five more minutes of acting like a kid...I might just make a cake to indulge...

34. Stay up late, and don't feel guilty. You don't need the extra rest - at least not any more than usual.

35. Enjoy being as small as you are for a little while longer...once baby's on board, you'll feel like a houseboat.

36. You aren't competing with Niagara Falls for the amount of random liquid you can discharge in a day (from all sorts of crazy locations...).

37. No panicking over maternity leave policies, and stressing over how to squeeze in prenatal visits, prenatal exercise classes, baby shopping, and couple time into that already crazy work schedule of yours...

38. Paint your heart out! The chemicals aren't great for baby, but when you aren't prego, you can do what you love.

39. You have another month to relax and avoid the crazy people who come running up to you and asking to touch your belly, while telling you all about their horrendous experiences during their own pregnancy, or their sister's friend's aunt's cousin-by marriage's horribly painful delivery where everything went wrong, followed by a reassuring dollop of unwanted and fairly useless advice such as 'hang an empty coat hanger in the eaves of your attic to keep the baby hanging in your womb.'

40. Ok, so no one likes to admit it, but pregnant women are full of sh!+. Literally. So be glad you aren't constipated, too.

41. Did I mention that flatulence also comes with pregnancy? At least when you aren't pregnant you know that when someone says you are 'such a bubbly person,' you knwo they mean your personality, not your rear end.

42. Pregnancy is PMS on steroids...you've got at least another month during which your significant other won't look at you like a space alien trying to suck out his brain while your moods switch from happy to angry, to a huddled mass crying on the floor because it's just soooo sad that you're ice cube melted.

43. While it might dissappoint your significant other, you've got a little more time enjoying your current bra size, and avoiding backaches, chest aches, and the hypersensitivity that accompany your post-pubescent re-development of those fatty running-impairments men call 'boobs.'

44. All of those cute shoes you own still fit you, so while it would be nice to go shoe shopping, you don't have to worry about getting blisters the size of baseballs because you really wanted to wear those cute sandals you bought to go with your favorite summer dress.

45. Speaking of summer dresses - they still fit you, too.

46. You're still safe from hemerrhoids, so you don't have to worry about feeling like you have an old man's butt for a while. Enjoy it.

47. Love spicy food? Enjoy it while you can. Pregnancy comes complete with those wonderful gifts called morning sickness and acid reflux. Meaning whatever you eat will visit you later, and spicy foods might just be taboo. Since you aren't pregnant, those buffalo wings might still be calling your name....

48. Your legs won't look like a New York street map until baby has been on board for a while, so not being pregnant can help you indulge in those shorts and summer skirts without having to worry about someone trying to figure out how to get from Bleeker St. to Park Ave. by looking at your calf.

49. You aren't sprouting random chin, and no one will look at you thinking you probably know when the phrase 'that'll put hair on your chest' is used. Pregnant women get more body hair, courtesy those extra hormones, so while your best friends might be a pair of tweezers, a razor, and a jar of wax later, you're off the hook for now.

50. You have at least one more month to practice making that baby!